What really makes you happy? Have you ever put some honest thought into this generic question? A lot makes me “happy.” Cheeses, Pizza, Macaroni and Cheese, (deserving of upper case.), my 3 pound puppies, tequila, a nice Pinot Noir, a fat blunt, also my family. The list goes on. But only after this past year of going through complete personal hell, (of which I’ll spare you the details now but can promise a full disclosure of my personal trauma will be constructed into digestible joke format for my comedy special later this year), did I come to a real answer. More specifically, yesterday, after I smoked a fat blunt and walked my dogs, did I answer the question: “What makes me really happy?”
I know you want the fuckin’ answer now, right?! Like, RIGHT THIS SECOND! Well that’s one way to never feeling happy: being impatient. What an amateur! Slow down, chill out! Let the moment percolate for a minute. You know that saying, “Life is what happens when you’re busy planning for it”? Well, there’s some truth to that. So calm the fuck down and smell the roses/cannabis before you miss the most important parts of your life, which is here and now. Yea! Get all hippie with it and take a few minutes each day to connect to your soul. Turn your off the Twatter, Crapchat, Farsebook and Instascam and just BE! Get ya mutha’ fuckin’ ohm/aum on!
“It is a moment when the petty worldly affairs are lost in the desire for the universal. Such is the immeasurable power of Om.” ~The power of Om, ThoughtCo.com
I began my morning ritual like I do everyday: wake up, fart, greet my 3 pups, they fart, then I make a smoothie and check the abyss that has become the internet for shards of validation. Another rookie move! Thinking the acceptance of strangers can truly make one happy, when all it does is temporarily fill that void that resides in the Cruella de Vil part of soul. Which is basically the underlying root of stand up comedy, getting strangers to laugh, so you feel good about existing. But as comics know after that comes the self-loathing phase, followed by going back to the drawing board of writing more jokes, with a tad of threatening to ‘quit life’! Alas…new inspiration! Rinse and repeat.
Out of no where it was 3 o’clock and my 3 dogs: Carlin, Chaplin and Bunny (FYI: All rescue dogs! Do I think this make me a hero? In their saved little eyes, FUCK YES!) were all looking at me like, “If you don’t take us out soon, we are going to make your rugs look like Apocalypse Now from our buttholes!” So I loaded them into my car, took them to the ocean, smoked a fat blunt and thought about what makes me truly happy. I stopped at the top of a hill, overlooking the ocean with my dogs running around and found the answer.
It’s John Stamos. DUH!
But second to Stamos, third to weed are my family and friends. My true friends motivate me, inspire me and cry-laugh with me (you know who you are, Justin Martindale!). They get me through the hardest times and celebrate with me in my best. If you’ve seen me without make up, consider yourself family! My parents and sisters have supported me through ALL of my ups and downs, bad boyfriends, good boyfriends, bad breath, good farts. It’s spending time with my people that makes me happiest! I was thinking of a specific moment yesturday during my nature walk, that inspired me to write. The moment was experienced just this past week when I made a quick trip home after gigs in NY to see my family in Syracuse. I was at my childhood home with my father, mother, her boyfriend BOB, (you’re not from Upstate NY unless your mom has a boyfriend!), my brother-in-law, sister Emily and her baby, my nephew, Elliott. With two “L” and two “T”s because my sister is Donny OCD! And I saw the joy Eliot brought to all of us and I realized that was all I needed. To see this cherobic angel-baby make us all realize this moment is all we have, and it’s enough. Then he shit his diapers.
Remember, happiness is possible.
Thanks for reading!
p.s. Someone please put in a good word with Stamos for ya girl!