By now, we’ve ALL seen Kim Kardashian’s ass, NUMEROUS times via various media portals. Her ass has gotten more media attention than the Ebola crisis, cancer research and the ASCPA combined. Kim’s “ass-tention” has even surpassed one of the first ladies to put ASS on the map, a TRUE O.G. of ASS and talent: J.Lo! That’s the thing! Kim Kardashian, among a few other chicks out there, was able and allowed to do all of this without ever holding any shred of an accolade. She slipped thru the cracks, HA! HA!, never having to display any real skill or contribution to society other than her looks and…ASS! Having an “ass” has now become the same as having a “talent”, in this self-indulgent and social media-obsessed culture.
I’m fxcking annoyed because of how Instagram decides to handle their content “restriction”. The content I’m referring to in this case is Kim’s latest photos taken for Paper Magazine. If you haven’t seen these images you’re either: A: LUCKY or B: LIVING UNDER A FXCKING MOUNTAIN! That could quite possibly be Kim Kardashian’s backside! Her photos weren’t anything more (or less) than her leaving absolutely NOTHING to our imagination. Classic K. Kardashian Style….
I MEAN ARE YOU KITTEN ME RIGHT MEOW?? (Let the record show, I LOATHE using socially trending phrases, but it’s TOTALLY warranted in this case!) Let’s state the obvious here, she is DOUSED in Crisco. Right?! I mean, there’s NO way that’s extra virgin olive oil, we all know no one is a virgin in that family unit. You may be moaning right now. Don’t you even turn on me for stating the obvious based on the facts that we’ve been dining on for 10 seasons from #KUWTK ! She has her ENTIRE crack out for us to enjoy. A crack longer than a sleek highway, just with a much cheaper toll. HEYOO! The one thing people have been asking, is she standing inside of a trash bag? Is that a Hefty right now? I can recognize an extra tall kitchen bag from a mile away! That’s the ONLY appropriate part of the photo! The trash being put out in the trash. (Come on! It was an easy joke, calm down!) Her hair-do also REALLY pisses me off for some reason! It reminds me of how I try to get my hair to look when I haven’t washed it for 8 days. I love that she’s looking over her should as if surprised there’s a camera in the room. That’s how she got into this mess, with her face near a camera and a giant black meat cleaver.